presents.

i went to the drawing studio and stole a creepy dummy to be my model for the following two FOs.




this is the apron i was talking about a few posts back. it's for the 9-year-old daughter of the sculpture professor in my department. you can see the original apron in my flickr, in the problem with no name album. it has a crocheted scallop halter, smocked bodice, pink floral calico skirt, a little pocket with her name on it, a touch of embroidery, a satin ribbon roses, and grosgrain ties. hopefully it will fit jane better than it fits this dumb mannequin. i put it in her mom's mailbox in the office and i'm kinda embarassed but i hope she likes it and she's not afraid to wear it.

this is the completed gingham checkered hat for sara. it's kinda square (i did some math, it told me to only make 4 dbl dec points as opposed to my usual star-shaped five). i like to think of it as a quirky design detail. lisa and tristan said it looks like a bishop's hat. i hate my friends.

clearly i did not knit this, but i wanted to share. this is a gift for my friend lauren's bridal shower. it's the good thing plate clock from i think the april issue of ms living. lo and her future-huzz just bought a house, with a yellow and brown kitchen. so i found this plate at the antique store (TRES APPROPROS, it's a cake plate). it's autumn leaves and i was scared to death to drill the hole in it but it actually went fine. the clock hands are ripped off a cheap walmart clock (why pay 6 dollars for a clock kit when you can smash one and rip it's face off for 3.75?) and then i spraypainted them brown. ta da, lovely customized crafty shower gift for a dear friend (for under 20 dollars). thank you martha and associates you saved me from the gift registry!!

hello, capelet.

pattern: from family circle easy knitting magazine, by alicia paulson.
yarn: reynolds cabana, 2 balls
start to finish: april 13 - 22 i think but i forget.

can i just say that the photo in the magazine does not do this lovely item justice? why does it look a weird pale dishywater green in the photo when in fact, it's a soft grey? silly magazine. anyways. i used grosgrain rather than satin ribbon cos i am just a grosgrain kind of girl, and a lil dab of elmer's keep the fishtails from fraying. i needed a size K crochet hook and i SPLURGED and treated myself to a delicious brittany crochet hook. god bless boye's $1.99 aluminum hooks you do the lord's work but the brittany hook is LIKE BUTTA. it took the slightest bit of getting used to but it feels super-nice in your hand. well worth the extra five dollars to avoid the weird aluminum hand strain feeling. heart you, brittany hook.

pink and orange hat is done. ballet shoes need to be felted again. i give up on hand-felting. i need to go work on my tracey emin paper. i am scared to death of graduating and i don't really want to talk about it. xo.

there were five in the bed and the little one said, "yarn over, yarn over"....

HELLO PLEASE WELCOME THE CAKE WITH LEGS.

yes. it is really here. the cake with legs. single crochet with my trusty G hook in assorted shades of sugar 'n cream and some walmart bullshit called peaches and cream. trixie is shown here sniffing her friend. and yes she is being supported by a US7 needle jammed through her ahhh backside and into a chunk of scrap wood i stole from the sculpture shop.


this is a hat-in-progress for one of the instructors here in my department. in some weird utopian i-am-afraid-to-take-people's-money-for-the-stuff-i-make compromise, i make people trade me stuff. i say i will make you this thing if you make me something. i made my friend a green and white checkered hat with a big dumb pompon and earflaps, and he brought me a big silly gift basket full of fruit and barbie paperdolls and a coffee mug that says "WHEN I SAID I DO I DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING" and these creepy plastic cat figurines. so anyways. i am knitting sarah this hat out of my beloved lamb's pride in orange you glad and RPM pink and she is going to make me a drawing. i am making it up as i go along but the gingham checky pattern is stolen from knitting over the edge.


this is the print i was griping about in the post about tricking the printer. i printed the graph paper grid on with an inkjet printer, the pink is a collagraph (where you take a 3-D object, ink it, and run it. so i knitted this chunk of stockinette, made fake needles out of foamcore, glued the whole thing down, gesso'ed it, ran it thru the press to flatten it, and printed the bad mother in PINNNNK. it was hard cos it had to be in reverse so secretly the yarnover is on the left needle on the purl side OMFG i was confused). the black text is screenprinted on top. the edition size is TWENTYFIVE. it's fr an exchange portfolio we're doing with UB's print kids. the theme is VISUAL VOCABULARY so this is how i took it. chart symbols. how boring. but i don't hate it. i don't hate it. lisa and tristan are insisting i call it "so they all yarned over and one fell out" cos i've been singing it all week. you know what i'm talking about! best song ever.

tomorrow: the capelet post and chicks with sticks at javas. have a lovely wednesday. i'm gonna go try to make joann fabrics at southtown realize how bad they want me.

the computers are conspiring against us, we think.

this generator has allowed me to make many ridiculous I MEAN wonderful things. it is indispensible for intarsia and every knitter should have it in their bookmarks.

but what i want to know is this: why do i have to trick the computer, and tell it my paper is secretly 12 by 17, to get it to print a bleed image on 11 by 15 paper? if i don't lie to it, it doesn't deliver. i feel guilty, but the lie is working, and the desire to throw the EPSON off the roof is passing.

the sculpture professor here has a 9 year old daughter that is apparently quite taken with the apron for viv from my show. she told me she is still talking about it. her mom casts aprons out of bronze. i feel like we all have an apron connection and i was very flattered. the admiration of children is so genuine and sincere. so i started an apron for jane. it has a smocked bodice and a calico skirt with a pocket. i am going to embroider her name on it and it will have a grosgrain ribbon sash and sugar scallops around the edges. i hope it inspires creative craftiness and adventures.

FO, y'all!

hello meet marley.



this was aggravating in all the pushing the links around the dpns but it was worth it cos i knew in the end it would be hot. my modifications were insignificant but: i used jamieson's soft shetland cos i already had it. one ball, knit on US8s over 24 sts, yielded 37 links and post-felt is about 5.5 feet long. i felted it by hand, because we have a coin-op laundry system over here and i'm frugal like that. it could probly be feltier if it had had it's ass kicked harder but i broke a sweat and decided i was done kneading my scarf. the best part about this project is that people cannot figure out how in lord's name you made it.

here, have a good day. pink frosting always helps.


p.s. the cake with legs didn't get accepted but the installation did. the world doesn't appear to be ready for cake with legs but at least i am going to dominate the student show.

p.s.&. i am missing the annie modesitt book signing RIGHT NOW because buses are lame and also i have the worst headache of my life and this is literally the fourth time i have tried to post this stupid post. oh my god.